Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I want to remember...

I've debated whether I want to share the things going on right now - and I decided that no one has to read this, but I want to document the things I am feeling/experiencing right now, but please know that you are free and welcome to read everything. Yesterday, brought a hard decision, but one that I don't feel we have any other path to consider. We are putting the house up for sale. Every month that we have lived here the Lord has provided for the mortgage and work has provided for the bills. Until this month. Why the change? I don't really know, but I know that our timing and seasons aren't anywhere near the Lords and so I just have to trust. I have so many emotions going around in my head right now and questions - and I don't know how to settle them so I will just wait for those answers and just take the steps that are before me right now. Yesterday was hard for me and I was very distraught, but today I am actually peaceful. The Lord reminded me that sometimes we need to look with a different set of eyes (His eyes) at what our circumstances are. Just as we experienced before, I thought we should be moving into this house, but that wasn't what happened. Instead b/c I chose to accept something other than my idea, we moved into a rental house that was just as nice and fit us quite well for that time period. If I had insisted on my way - then we would have been in the apartment for many, many more months. So I am choosing, once again, to let go of my way and possibly a home at Dry Valley and to look for the miracle that only the Lord knows about. I wonder, if as Abraham of old was asked to let go of his promise, are we being asked a similar thing? Are we being tested to see who or what we love more; the Giver or the gift? In all of this, I desperately want what the Lord has for us. I pray that we haven't done something to derail us from the Lord's plan for us. I'm okay with a change in directions as long as the Lord continues to lead our Journey to Destiny.

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